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9 Smart Ways to Reduce the Pain and Expense of Divorce
SMART WAY #1: Stay in your children’s lives. Just because you and your spouse are separating, that does not mean that you cease to be a father. Keep regular custodial times, preferably overnights with your children and by all means keep track of the expenses you pay for them while they are with you.
SMART WAY #2: Talk to a family professional regularly. The death of a marriage is still a death. Do not compromise your emotional and mental health in this process. You need someone objective to help you through a situation which by nature breeds instability.
SMART WAY #3: Keep a journal. Write down everything that goes on during the Divorce which affects you. What you write can be helpful to your case and will refresh your recollection as to earlier events.
SMART WAY #4: Do not nitpick. Fighting over furniture, pots and pans, and dishware is truly ridiculous and petty. Unless you are strapped financially, I would recommend foregoing these things because they are remnants of your past life. Out with the old. In with the new.
SMART WAY #5: Keep your friends close but do not overburden them. Your friends can be a great resource for comfort and support, but make sure you understand that friendship is a two-way street. Do not dump your problems on friends or you may find yourself isolated and not knowing why.
SMART WAY #6: Stay away from life altering changes. Divorce is enough of a life altering change as it is. Get through this process first before starting a new career, a new religion, or a new lifestyle.
SMART WAY #7: Try to resolve the most painless issues with your spouse. Divorce, apart from the emotional issues, is a process of issue resolution. The more issues resolved, the less that needs to be dealt with in the end. Settlement is always the most preferred and least expensive option.
SMART WAY #8: Don’t try to ruin your former wife. You are not on a mission to ruin your estranged wife. If you are, you will be constantly disappointed and you will never be able to get on with your life. How you deal with the fact of Divorce – namely the cards that are dealt you – will determine the quality of your life and your emotional well-being for years to come.
SMART WAY #9: Imagine the process is complete. Envision where you want your life to be when this awful chapter is behind you. Take steps to make your vision a reality.
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